SandraLee Smith of Renfrew, Pennsylvania was chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question: What was Terry planning to do in the mat room? Ans: (D) look only.
Sandra wrote, “Thank you for the Amazon.com Gift Card! It was as wonderful surprise when I opened my e-mail this morning and saw that I had won. It will come in very handy towards Christmas shopping. Again, thank you very much.”
ANITA MADE ME DO IT
“I’ll Promise you anything … except monogamy.” Terry (1977)
A quick review for you late arrivals. At age nineteen I was flying high. I’d met the woman of my dreams, got married, and soon had kids. Ten years later I performed a forced crash landing.
Then I met high-flying-Fran (Brier Patch 1). She was smart, pretty, witty, and above all—FUN! We had parties, we crashed parties, we got high, we laughed.
Later, along came Terry, the ultimate high flyer. She, too, was smart, pretty, witty, and fun … but also—kinky. Though we were a committed couple, she was also committed to having an occasional fling on the side.
“Take it or leave it, buddy boy!”
Day two of the Swingers Conference (Brier Patch 6,7) we met a married couple from Calgary, Emma and Max. Like us, they were virgin swingers, and because Max had been unable to give Emma an orgasm, he’d agreed to let someone else try their … hand (?)
I’d already donated an orgasm to science (Brier Patch 2), and had no interest in pinch-hitting for Max by donating whatever abilities I may or may not have had in that department.
Terry believed with proper training, any man could satisfy a woman, so with a wink and a nod she took Max by the arm, and they trotted off to his hotel room for tutoring.
I looked around. Mat-room–Anita must be here someplace.
She was a professional sex surrogate. A job requiring the sensitivity of a therapist and the skills of a Tantric master. Hired by therapists, she served as a stand-in partner to those in need of refined sexual experiences.
Experiences that ran the gambit from sensate focus (non-genital touching, hugging, and kissing), to a quiet vagina, and finally to ride ‘em, cowboy.
I sidled up to her in the hotel lobby, took her hand, and stroked it gently with my fingertips. “How about you taking a busman’s holiday and we play cowboy and cowgirl?”
She tickled my chiny-chin-chin and smiled. “Room 315, podna. Give me fifteen minutes to powder my nose.”
After time on the range, Anita and I soaked in her bathtub and sipped the remaining champagne I’d brought.
I shaved her legs, then put the razor down and kissed her furry underarms. Perfect, just the way they were.
She took the razor. “I’ll shave off your beard.”
“Whoa! Not so fast, cowgirl.”
The beard had been Terry’s idea. Having sex with another woman, no problem. Shaving off my beard … I wasn’t so sure.
Later, walking down the hallway, we spotted Terry and Max heading our way.
“Shh,” I whispered. “Let’s see what she says.”
I kept my eyes straight ahead as we passed each other.
Stunned that she’d ignored me, I stopped and turned. “Terry!”
She looked at me open-mouthed. “Oh, my God!” she burst, and then laughed.
“You didn’t recognize me?”
“No, but the shirt looked familiar.”
Max took my hand in his, like a best friend. “You’ve got a great woman there, Bill. I have to run along and find Emma.”
He winked at Terry and left.
“What was the wink about?” I asked her.
“He’s got homework to do.”
Next Week: How I Learned To Lighten Up
IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives).
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