From the more than 200 entries, Terri Childress of Staunton, Virginia was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question In What Room Was the Water Pipe? Ans: The Pillow Room.
MY BLOOD WAS ALREADY BOILING when Lee poured water on the hot coals. I’d lost so many gallons of sweat, my towel weighed more than I did. I had to escape.
Once out of the tepee, I staggered to the swimming pool and jumped in, hoping my body temperature would drop back to double digits.
“You didn’t stay with us very long,” Terry said, strolling up, nude, and looking as lobstery as I felt.
“Any longer and I risked being dipped in butter.”
“If you’d listened to Lee instead of talking to Zoe about her G-spot (Brier Patch 6), you’d know. It takes twenty minutes in a sweat lodge to rid the body of toxins. You lasted ten minutes.”
“Okay, boys and girls,” Lee hollered. “Let’s get dressed and regroup inside.”
Lee was the anesthesiologist Terry and I met at our cross-dress party (Brier Patch 13). We were now at his house in Malibu Canyon.
He handed us each a pinch of psilocybin mushrooms. We held our noses, chewed, and—fighting the gag reflex—swallowed.
Photo by Bill
Outside, rain sprinkled on our grinning faces. We were four-year-olds—jumping, dancing, singing.
The Hike
Lee grabbed some things from the porch, and off we pranced into the wilderness. “Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honali.”
“Listen up,” Lee said. “We’re coming onto a special place, so be very quiet.”
We giggled and tramped on until coming upon an oak tree with a hole in its trunk.
Lee signaled us to sit down a few yards in front of it, while he sprinkled nuts on the ground by the hole, then he sat with us.
An hour later (a minute in real time), a masked creature stuck its head out from the trunk.
We all gasped.
It jumped onto the ground. With its fingers—fingers! —it picked up the nuts and scampered back into the dark tree hollow.
Someone whispered, “Did that really happen?”
“There’s more,” Lee said. “Follow me.”
We crept closer, my toes curling.
Lee turned on a flashlight. I tense as he aimed it into the hole.
A trio of faces stared at us.
“They’ve got little fingers,” Terry whispered.
Later, The Slide
Standing upon a small rise, Zoe plopped onto her butt and disappeared down the muddy slope.
“Yippee!” We all followed and dog-piled at the bottom.
“Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man.” We slapped mud on each other, we hugged each other, we loved each other … just like four-year-olds.
Next Week: How Not To Be A Husband
IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives.)
MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/
THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).