LAST WEEK’S WINNER
Becca Zoeller of Destin, Florida, was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question What did Bill wear to the Halloween party? Ans: A DIAPER
HER REAL NAME WAS LUCILLE, BUT THEY CALLED HER LUCY. If you knew her, you’d know why.
She was a spitfire, a chatterbox, a four-foot-ten-inch, fuzzy redhead who would climb on you like a monkey with hugs and squeezes and butterfly kisses.
She laughed, she giggled, and if you told her a joke—any joke—it was guaranteed a laugh. Then, “Huh? I don’t get it.” And more laughs and giggles.
Lucy was new to our group of Bohemian outliers, but she fit in nicely. Even transformed our trio of Peter, Terry, and Bill, into a quartet—Peter and Terry, Bill and Lucy.
We all partied together, hot-tubbed together … even traveled together in Terry’s van.
“Why does Lucy have to come over tonight?” Terry said, swiping her finger over a cabinet top I had just dusted with my feather monster.
“Why not? Peter’s coming.” I flicked my duster over her precious Llardo figurines from China.
“You give her too much attention.” She rearranged the statuettes, leaving the big-breasted one (Peter’s favorite) in front of the four others.
“No more than you give Peter.” I slid the dancer forward (my favorite), giving it equal billing.
“That’s different!” she insisted.
“The way you two are always so lovie-dovie. It’s sickening how she hangs all over you. And that ridiculous giggle of hers.”
“I like her giggle. And her affection feels good. You’ve never stopped Peter from being lovie-dovie toward you.”
“It’s not the same. Besides, I never feel included with her. Peter and I have always included you.”
It became obvious to Lucy and me that the situation with Terry had become untenable, so Lucy and I stopped being lovers, but remained friends.
Eventually, I tired of what was then our original threesome, and said to Terry, “We need a change.”
“What kind of change?” she said, eyebrows arched.
“A permanent one. Take your pick. Peter or me.”
We parted amiably.
Terry and Peter took a three-month trip to Europe, and I bought a beautiful home off Mulholland Dr. They separated soon after their return, and they are now both married to the loves of their lives.
IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives.)
MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/
THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM, iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Audible)
THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, Google Play, Smashwords, Audible)
THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).
(Coming February 24th. Preorder now!)
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