Brier Patch #19 The Woman I Saw Only Once

LAST WEEK’S WINNER

Eric Moffitt of Franklin Pennsylvania, was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question what did the dog do besides chase golf balls? ANS: HE ALSO TALKS.

WHILE ON MY WAY TO VISIT A WOMAN I’D NEVER MET (Not a blind date, but close. We’d met on Match.com.), I stopped along a barren stretch of highway.

A dozen or more people stood on the roadside peering through their binoculars at an empty blue sky.

I tapped a guy on the shoulder. “What’s everybody looking at?”

He lowered his binoculars and pointed. Wide-eyed, he said, “That!”

In the far distance, something was heading our way.

Moments later it glided over our heads, silent as a cloud.

The crowd gasped.

“My friend,” the man said, “you’ve just seen something few people ever have, and probably never will. A bird that dates back to the days of the dinosaurs, and is almost extinct. A condor.”

 

 

 

 

The Woman

When I arrived at my destination to see the woman I’d only corresponded with, I said offhandedly to her and her teenage son, “I just saw a condor.”

The boy jumped from his chair, grabbed a map, and spread it out on the table.

“Where?” he said, excitedly.

I pointed. “Right there.”

He was so envious of my good fortune, I should’ve offered my autograph.

The kid had such an encyclopedic knowledge of birds that I lost all interest in his mother, and for the next two hours, I learned so much about birds that I left feeling like an expert on the subject.

Back Home

I immediately signed up for a birding class at UCLA. It wasn’t long, and I was taking weekend birding trips. Saw everything—mountain birds, desert birds, shore birds, soaring birds. You name it.

I even saw the most unusual “bird” of all. Bridget.

Next Week: My Weekend With Bridget

 

IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives.)

 

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/

THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM, iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, Google Play, Smashwords, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).
(Coming February 24th. Preorder now! Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM)

 

Next Week: My Weekend With Bridget