LAST WEEK’S WINNER
Karen Hester of Madison, Wisconsin, was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question: What kind of bird did Bill see. Ans: Condor
Where’s the best place to meet girls? Why, school, of course.
Bridget had a strikingly beautiful Latino face with skin that looked freshly coated with a fine dark polish.
We met in our UCLA birding class, and after two field trips, I suggested we take a weekend birding trip together.
“Maybe get extra credit,” I offered as enticement.
“Where would we go?” she asked, her glossy brown eyes squinting suspiciously.
“The Kern River. We’ll set up camp and bird the riparian. Look for … whatever those birds are there, and then bird our way back along the river. Maybe even find a ferruginous haw—”
“Hold on. Did you say camp?”
“Sure, I’ve got all the stuff. Nothin’ to worry about.”
“I’ll think about it.”
The Next Day
I called her and said, “The weather in Kernville’s going to be perfect, in the seventies and clear. What do you say?”
“What about wild animals?”
“Not a problem,” I told her, having never considered the subject.
I picked her up Friday afternoon. She wore one of those fancy camping jackets with a hood and a million pockets.
I drove while she ate a candy bar and flipped through her birding book, naming all the birds we’d be looking for and sticking pictures of them in front of my face.
It was a thick book, and the birds started looking all the same.
The Campground
We pulled in after dark. She smiled thinly when we passed the showers and bathrooms.
“See,” I told her. “All the luxuries of home.”
We set up our tent and started a fire. I cracked open a bottle of red wine. Even laid out a spread of cheese and crackers from the ice chest.
Swirling her wine like a pro, she nodded toward our sleeping quarters. “That’s a pretty small tent.”
“Roomy enough for two sleeping bags,” I said and fetched them from the car.
“Take your pick,” I said. “You’ll zip inside, safe and snug as a bug.”
We ate chicken and gazed at the star-filled sky. I tried to impress her with my incredible knowledge of the constellations, only to learn she’d majored in astronomy.
Before the night was over, I learned she’d majored in more than just astronomy.
Next Week: Bridget’s Big Surprise
IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives.)
YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/
THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM, iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Audible)
THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, Google Play, Smashwords, Audible)
THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).
(Coming February 24th. Preorder now! Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM)