Brier Patch # 23 That’s The Girl For Me!

LAST WEEK’S WINNER

Linda Moffitt, of Franklin, Pennsylvania, was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question: What did Bill yell out the window? Ans: Moo.

 

I’d been birding a year and was currently up in Visalia, California, on a birding trip.

A dozen of us sat at a long table in a Mexican restaurant. A young, she-should-be-in-pictures type blonde with a bright and lively voice began taking our orders.

“That’s the woman for me,” I said to the man beside me, and by the time the love of my life asked for my order, I was panting.

And there she stood, peering down at me like a goddess with flashing blue eyes and bright red lips. “What’ll it be for you, birdman?”

Listening to her voice, sweet as a songbird, it was easy to imagine nuzzling up to those fine, wispy hairs behind her left ear. I opened the menu. “Hmm. What’s the difference between a tortilla and a taco?” I played dumb, hoping she’d stick around awhile.

After explaining, she said, “They both come with beef, chicken, or pork.”

“What do you recommend?”

“If you’re super hungry, the combination.”

I pretended to study the selections. “How would you compare number one, with say, number five?”

Someone grumbled, “Read the goddamn menu, dude!”

“Never mind,” I said to her. “I’ll try the quesadilla salad.” I tapped the rim of my margarita glass. “And another one of these, por favor.”

After Dinner

She set down my coffee, and I, wanting to make conversation, said, “We’re migrant birders up from L.A.”

“No kidding? I fledged from there. Went to Hollywood High.”

“Hey, me too.”

Great! Something in common. And she knew what fledging meant.

“Stick around,” I said, “and watch our bird slides. They’re G-rated.”

“You mean there’s no mating shots?” She smiled and trotted off.

Cute as hell. And a sense of humor!

The show ended and everybody left.

Except me.

I had to get her phone number. Since I lived a hundred seventy-five miles south, it was now or never.

The Lobby

I lingered by the register, and whenever she was within range, I chirped, “Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo.”

Finally! She marched over.

“Did you forget something?”

“Can I talk to you for five minutes?”

She smiled. “No, I’m working.” She looked at her watch. “You have twenty seconds.”

“I’m a single father, have a good job, don’t get up this way often, but I really want to call you sometime.”

Her eyes narrowed. But she held the smile.

I whipped out a pen and two business cards. “Here. You keep one and write your phone number on the other. By the way, I’m Bill.”

“I’m Cindy.”

Yes!

Next Week: Love Conquers All.

 

IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week (until I run out of drugs, girlfriends, and wives.)

 

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/

THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM, iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, Google Play, Smashwords, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).
(Coming February 24th. Preorder now! Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM)