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Bill A. Brier

Author of The Devil Orders Takeout

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Read the First Post in the Story

Here are the first posts in The Brier Patch story:

  • Nudists Are Normal People… Or Are They?
  • Sex For Science
  • LSD…WOWEE!
  • Two Amazing Women…Which to Choose? Pt. 1
  • Two Amazing Women…Which To Choose? Part 2

Then, use the archives at the bottom of this sidebar to read the rest of the story!

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Black Opal Books
(2017-10-21)
307 pages
$14.99/$3.99
ISBN: 9781626946897

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Black Opal Books
(2017-04-22)
347 pages
$16.49/$3.99
ISBN: 978-1626946071

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Archives

Brier Patch #29: Scamming the Scammer

April 9, 2018 by Bill Brier Leave a Comment

ONCE UPON A TIME I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MICHAEL THOMAS.

Michael claimed to be a Washington Mutual Bank official in Atlanta, Georgia.

He confided that years earlier, he set up a secret account for a man getting a divorce. But the man had recently died, and there—in that secret account—sat more than ten million dollars!

Michael said he found me through “an agency that helps seek people by their email.” Hmm. Anyway, he explained that the account holder had used an alias, and if I would claim to be his next of kin, Michael’s lawyer would draw up paperwork and the funds would be sent to my private bank account.

Michael would “trust me” to forward eighty percent of the money to him, allowing me to keep the remaining twenty percent.

I’ll get back to Michael in a minute.

Skipping ahead

When I started writing my first novel, Peter, a writer friend, suggested I join a writer’s group. There, he said, I’d get feedback on my writing, and I would in turn critique other writers.

The next evening I sat in on such a group. Boy, was I charged. These were real writers. Everyone had prepared a critique of something one of them had written.

When the meeting was over, the facilitator asked me to send her a sample of my writing. (Not just anybody gets into her group!)

I’d whip something out.

I went home energized—and intimidated. Those people knew their stuff. They saw problems I didn’t know were problems. Passive sentences, clichés, head hopping, too many to be words.

Huh?

I hoped those writing books I’d ordered would arrive soon. I’d need them.

I don’t remember what I wrote, but it wasn’t up to snuff. Too much head hopping? Too many to be words?

“Do you have anything else?” the woman asked. A benevolent teacher trying to coax me into giving the correct answer—“Anything at all?”

“There’s Scamming the Scammer.”

I sent her a few pages, and she wrote back, “Bill, you are a writer. Welcome to our group.”

Back To My Soon-To-Be Best Friend, Michael

Michael’s plan was not to deposit ten million dollars into my bank account, but to drain it of every penny. It’s called a Nigerian Scam. Thousands of people have been bilked of their entire savings and some folks have actually gone to Nigeria, never to return.

I planned to reverse the arrangement by having Michael send me money. I opened a new email account and became Martha, a rich Beverly Hills heiress.

 

 

 

 

Michael found me beautiful, and for two months we corresponded.

I copied each of the 37 exchanges (as they occurred) to more than 50 friends who were free to write back (to me only) with their—often hilarious—comments.

The series was totally screwball; full of allusions that went over Michael’s Nigerian head. For example, I told him my dog was missing, so I hired a neighbor, Jim Neighbor, the soundman for the movie Lassie Come Home, to call in the dog.

The whole thing is loaded with sexual innuendos, intrigue, deception, love, greed, double crosses, offshore bank accounts, bizarre allusions, and of course, photographs.

Next Week: Chapter 1. Scamming the Scammer

 

IF YOU’RE ENJOYING these goofy blogs, share them with friends (or, heck, anybody). There’s a new one each week.

 

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE MY BOOKS: billbrier.com/books/

THE DEVIL ORDERS TAKEOUT — Award-winning thriller (that Scooby loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM, iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO HATED SOUP — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby really loved).
(Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Kobo, Google Play, Smashwords, Audible)

THE KILLER WHO WASN’T THERE — Award-winning mystery (that Scooby’s still reading).
(Now available! Buy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, BAM)

 

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