Scamming the Scammer – Chapter 11

>Michael my darling,

I’m terribly distraught. Kuma is missing. Early last evening I let him
out for his little doo-doo and tinkle-tinkle on his special scarlet
Astro-turf (covered with the finest dung smelling dogie liter) and then
went back into the house and…and, later he was gone!

At midnight I went to the animal shelter and he was not there. Early
this morning (sleep? What’s that?) I even checked the crematorium and
had a fright because…oh, I can’t even talk about that. I put signs on
neighborhood trees with his picture and offered a $5,000 reward. I also
had George put my car out on the street with a big sign on top.

I hired a neighbor, Jim Neighbor, a sound man (he did the sound for
“Lassie Comes Home”) to hook up three foot Boise speakers on top of the
car with a professional narrator (Paul Robeson with his booming voice)
alerting people in the neighborhood to search their yards and under
their beds for my – fur like sodden seaweed – Kuma.

I’ve hired the best retired policemen I could round up on this short
notice to do a full scale search of a three mile perimeter. The group
of sixteen is led by Jack Web and Dan Ackroid…the cities finest
sloths.

Oh Michael all I can do is cry and feel my heart breaking as if I’m
laying upon a tree stump and Paul Bunion is whacking me with his ax.
Please pray for little Kuma – pray that God will return the little
dogie safely home.

I’m off to the dogie morgue…just in case. Is there anything more you
could suggest I might do Michael? Please help with any advice as I
value your keen insights and smart ideas. Keep an eye on little
Max…you never know.

-desperate, Martha
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TOMORROW:  Will Martha receive a ransom note, and will Michael offer
advice or be fed up?