MARTHA:
Oh Michael I’m so excited about our venture (or should I say
adventure?) together. Having our little secret makes my toes-es tingle
with excitement…such as with terminal frostbite.
Just in case you’re up to the trip to Reykjavik I’ve booked a suite in
the Esja Hotel for the weekend. We’ll dine in the famous Frigate Gullet
restaurant where the waiters wear plastic Viking hats. We’ll feast on
barbecued suckling pig (you get to eat the apple) and spitted mountain
lamb, washed down with what’s called Viking’s blood (cognac and urine
smelling smelt). I’ll wear my samite evening dress and it’s okay for
you to wear cutoffs and be shirtless (though we’ll have to shave your
chest).
It will be divine my darling pussy face. We’ll dance the night away to
the music of Conway Twitty. Don’t worry about my not having proper
papers, I have connections in Iceland with people in the fifth column.
I must scoot now my sweet chickadee. When I return from my face
pampering and tushie stroking I’ll open the account as you instructed.
Until then, Au Reviour, Martha
MICHAEL:
Hello my dearest Martha,
i am also very excited about our venture,my heart joys whenever i see
your mail.for my dearie,i can’t leave the office until i finally round
up this transaction so i am very sorry to turn down your sweet
offer.going with you to Reykjavik would have been very very lovely but
leaving my office now is totally ruled out.
if i may ask,when do you hope to return?how is my lovely Kuma?i
earnestly await to see a beautiful mail from you.
Your darling Michael Thomas esq.
MARTHA:
Hi sugar pussy cat with cute little fur balls,
My Poor baby, how is your flu? I wish I was with you to feed you some
of my famous road whacked armadillo soup and give you lots and lots of
TLC with tushie squeezes.
Don’t you worry your pretty little chinnie chin chin about not going to
Reykjavik. The trip would be too strenuous for you now (When we meet I
want you in tip-top shape…ready for romping and rolling in the hey –
as they say). Naturally I won’t be going without you my sweet pee-pod.
I looked at Alpine Trust and am confused about which account to open
up. I think we should open a Bank by Wire account that way you can
simply deposit the 10.2m dollars directly into the account. Simple as
taking candy from a baby crocodile’s mouth…I think that’s what you
said.
That reminds me Michael – sugar pussy – in looking over the figures you
submitted I’m wondering who did your calculations. I’ll bet it was that
woman attorney you had working for you…that no good retromingent! If
so you can tell her for me that she can jump in the lake if she thinks
I can be duped into accepting her figures.
Is somebody trying to cheat me Michale? You said that I will get 20% of
10.2m usd and that comes to 2.04 NOT 2.02 as stated on page two of your
prospectus. I am not stupid, but I AM insulted and I would like an
immediate clarification and explanation as to why I’m being cheated on
our deal.
I’m sorry to be so gruff and lash out with my catty fangs but I’m a
fair, honest and trustworthy person and I hope you are being honest
with me as well because I would be crushed like a possum under the
wheels of an eighteen wheeler if you were attempting to deceive me.
Please write soon so we can clear this up and be lovey-dovey again.
Smoochie kissie, Martha