MICHAEL:
Hello my darling Martha,
i haven’t heard back from you,whats going on?please let me know if you
are still intrested in the oil business so i know if i am to still keep
the boys on hold.
your darling Michael Thomas esq.
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MARTHA:
Ooh Michael,
I’m soooooo disappointed my cheery cheeked dumpling. Daffy Duck said
that he hired two people to actually go to Algeria and meet up with a
guy who would take them to meet with Warlord Asair. He said he lost his
patience with our dawdling and needed to get project XX moving fast and
we let him down by not delivering. (He’s a hard ass, big cajones
business man).
Don’t worry my dear I’ve got other ideas on how we can make money and
have fun together. Here’s something you might be able to help out on,
what with all your banking connections. We’re calling it project
“Tickled Pink”.
My late husbands partner, Bobby Speck (remember, the friend with the
jet?) has a plan to buy cotton futures in Uzbekistan. Inflation is over
40% and with the right futures swap we could stand to make a great deal
of money. Since Sherman sacked Atlanta the supply of cotton from the
south has gone south (I know, it’s confusing) and the US has been
crying for a good cheap source ever since. After the USSR break up,
Uzbekistan has become an untapped cotton mine just waiting to get
picked by smart operators like Kenny Lay, Michael Milken and ourselves.
Remember what I said, it takes money to make money? Well, the
difficulty is that we’re stuck like Bambi in the tar pits because we
have been unable to locate a Uzbekistan national who speaks either
Uzbek or Tojik (speaking Russian won’t help). This person would
actually have to travel to Uzbekistan and set up the proper account.
(Of course it would be convenient to simply find someone in Uzbekistan
to do this but nobody, but nobody knows anybody living in Uzbekistan
with an education…Uzbekistanes are all ignorant, stupid and lack
uppers).
We would pay a substantial finders fee to someone who could find such a
person. If it’s you, naturally we’ll pay top dollar…say ten to twenty
thousand dollars. (If he also speaks Farse we’ll pay even more). Click
your ruby slippers and lead the way my prince charming.
If we do this deal perhaps we could take a vacation trip Uzbekistan and
also visit Kazakhstan too. It would be a marvelous vacation. I’ve got
to run my Frozen Yogurt…off to my Twiddle-E-Dee class. Please don’t
wait so long to write cream puff. I love reading your every word.
Love and kisses, Martha