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Bill A. Brier

Author of The Devil Orders Takeout

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Read the First Post in the Story

Here are the first posts in The Brier Patch story:

  • Nudists Are Normal People… Or Are They?
  • Sex For Science
  • LSD…WOWEE!
  • Two Amazing Women…Which to Choose? Pt. 1
  • Two Amazing Women…Which To Choose? Part 2

Then, use the archives at the bottom of this sidebar to read the rest of the story!

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Black Opal Books
(2017-10-21)
307 pages
$14.99/$3.99
ISBN: 9781626946897

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Black Opal Books
(2017-04-22)
347 pages
$16.49/$3.99
ISBN: 978-1626946071

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Books-A-Million

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Archives

Scamming the Scammer – Chapter 25

August 8, 2018 by Bill Brier Leave a Comment

MARTHA:

Hello my Darling Sweetheart,

Please write to me – I need you now more than ever. I’ll explain.

One week after Kuma’s abduction and recovery Beverly Hills detectives

Joe Friday and Maxwell Smart came by the house and informed me that

they found the dog- napper dead in his sleazy Handcock Park apartment.

The ransom money was hidden under a loose floorboard in the basement.

Johny Dollar, a drifter and two bit hustler living always on the edge,

looking for the next big score,  was the culprit.

The landlady, living upstairs, told the cops she heard sounds of

gurgling, splashing and constant toilet flushing during the night. It

turns out Dollar  had stuck his head in the toilet to get as much water

as possible into his rapidly dehydrating body.

The cops explained that the fool had eaten poisoned cookies that not

only dehydrated him but fried his brain as well.  (Good riddance – no

more dog-napping for him). On hearing this I was so shocked that I

fainted right there in my own living room (being careful not to bump my

head on the coffee table when falling).

After I recovered the cops informed me that the napper had in fact been

murdered by the poisoned cookies and they were quite curious about

where the cookies came from…in other words, “who done it?”

Naturally, I had no way of knowing myself.  I mean, how in the world

would I know?  I’m just a woman. (So was Barbara Stanwick, but never

mind that).

To make a long story short, I am a suspect.  Can you believe that my

dear heart?  Why I never in my life!  Anyway, I have excellent lawyers

(male lawyers.) who will get me off the hook.  Johnny Cochran is famous

for seeing that guilty people go free.

Remember my dingle berry love, this too is to be a secret.  Shee. don’t

tell a sole. I love you my dear – PLEASE, PLEASE write.  I so

desperately need your support.  I’ll do ANYTHING you ask…just write.

Kiss-kiss, hug-hug, smooch-smooch, Your Martha


MARTHA:

Hello my Darling Sweetheart,

Please write to me – I need you now more than ever. I’ll explain.

One week after Kuma’s abduction and recovery Beverly Hills detectives

Joe Friday and Maxwell Smart came by the house and informed me that

they found the dog- napper dead in his sleazy Handcock Park apartment.

The ransom money was hidden under a loose floorboard in the basement.

Johny Dollar, a drifter and two bit hustler living always on the edge,

looking for the next big score,  was the culprit.

The landlady, living upstairs, told the cops she heard sounds of

gurgling, splashing and constant toilet flushing during the night. It

turns out Dollar  had stuck his head in the toilet to get as much water

as possible into his rapidly dehydrating body.

The cops explained that the fool had eaten poisoned cookies that not

only dehydrated him but fried his brain as well.  (Good riddance – no

more dog-napping for him). On hearing this I was so shocked that I

fainted right there in my own living room (being careful not to bump my

head on the coffee table when falling).

After I recovered the cops informed me that the napper had in fact been

murdered by the poisoned cookies and they were quite curious about

where the cookies came from…in other words, “who done it?”

Naturally, I had no way of knowing myself.  I mean, how in the world

would I know?  I’m just a woman. (So was Barbara Stanwick, but never

mind that).

To make a long story short, I am a suspect.  Can you believe that my

dear heart?  Why I never in my life!  Anyway, I have excellent lawyers

(male lawyers.) who will get me off the hook.  Johnny Cochran is famous

for seeing that guilty people go free.

Remember my dingle-berry love, this too is to be a secret.  Shee. don’t

tell a sole. I love you my dear – PLEASE, PLEASE write.  I so

desperately need your support.  I’ll do ANYTHING you ask…just write.

Kiss-kiss, hug-hug, smooch-smooch, Your Martha

_____________________________

NEXT:  The Last Chapter.

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