Bill Brier Blog Extra!

NOTE: Scammer the Scammer is now published both Mondays and Thursdays.

MARTHA:

Hello again my dear Michael,

You won’t believe this Michael, but I had the most amazing dream last

night and it was about a secret I’ve been keeping for many years. Two

days before my late husband (bless his soul) passed away he left me a

locked black case containing his prized and highly valued coin

collection. I was instructed not to open it (it’s locked but I have the

key safely secured in my home safe).

My Dear Michael,

I am so happy to hear from you. I hope you’re staying healthy and well.
Kuma (as you’ll recall, is my little doggie) had a boo-boo on his tiny foot that required some minor surgery
but he’s okay now. He’s wearing one of those ghastly collars around his
neck to prevent him from licking the bandaged wound.

Anyhow, it’s thrilling to hear from you. Do you ever get over to the Los
Angeles area? It would be so nice to have you over for lunch some
afternoon. What kind of food do you like? I have an excellent cook who
also does the grocery shopping and she can cook practically anything. I
can’t handle spicy anymore though…sensitive tummy, you understand.

MARTHA (BILL) WRITES TO MICHAEL

My Dear Michael,

I do apologize for not getting back to you sooner but I was away this weekend (La Costa doing the waters) and did not have my computer with me. (If I owned a laptop I guess I could then hook up somehow to the Internet?????).

I can assure you Michael that I am totally trustworthy and am the kind of person who honors her commitments. I have always been honest and believe in the goodness of others. I am a positive person and I have never worried about such things as the future because God has always taken care of me.

This all took place in 2004.

As we learned last week, Michael (a Nigerian scammer out to get rich) wrote to Bill,
who he thinks is Martha, a rich Beverly Hills widow.

Here, Martha writes back.

Dear Michael, I just can’t believe it. Hearing from you that is. I’ve been ill for sometime and now that I’m better, as a present to myself, I bought my first computer. Now God has smiled down and sent you to me. Please write back and let me know more specifics of what’s needed to be done. I must say this Michael, I am unwilling to do anything that is at all illegal but if this business is on the up and up I’d be very interested.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

Characters: Michael, a Nigerian scammer, and Bill, aka, Martha, a Beverly Hills rich widow. Their email exchanges are loaded with intrigue, sexual innuendos, deception, love, greed, double crosses, offshore bank accounts, bizarre allusions, and of course, photographs.

Email from Michael to Martha:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am MICHEAL THOMAS,CREDIT ACCOUNTS OFFICER WASHINGTON MUTUAL BANK ATLANTA GEORGIA USA.

ONCE UPON A TIME I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM MICHAEL THOMAS.

Michael claimed to be a Washington Mutual Bank official in Atlanta, Georgia.

He confided that years earlier, he set up a secret account for a man getting a divorce. But the man had recently died, and there—in that secret account—sat more than ten million dollars!

Michael said he found me through “an agency that helps seek people by their email.” Hmm. Anyway, he explained that the account holder had used an alias, and if I would claim to be his next of kin, Michael’s lawyer would draw up paperwork and the funds would be sent to my private bank account.

Joe Fleeburn of Kansas City, Kansas, was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question: What did Cindy say to Bill’s proposal? Ans: Maybe.

I opened my email and saw Joann’s picture.

 

 

 

 

 

Hello, there! Wait a minute. I’d been fooled before using dating services. Upon meeting one woman, I said, “You’re hair’s different than in your picture.” I wanted to add, the one taken fifty years ago!

Let’s face it, everybody over forty fudges a few years—but decades?

Stephanie Stone of Fort Wayne, Indiana was randomly chosen last week’s $25 winner with the correct answer to the question: What did Bill place on Cindy’s cold leg? Ans: His hand.

“We don’t soak in your toilet, so please don’t pee in our hot tubs.”

That was the sign in the lobby at the Seaside Hot Springs Resort.

Down at the tubs, another sign: “If everyone enters naked, make others feel comfortable—disrobe as well. No sex without the consent of everyone present. Don’t stare!”

“Do you bring all your girlfriends here for nude hot tubbing?” Cindy asked, slipping into the bubbling water.